After trying for months to have another baby, I got the surprising news in January of 2019 that I was expecting. To be quite honest, I had mixed feelings. I was excited about having another baby, but a bit anxious at the same time. Our son wasn’t even a year old yet, and we were about to bring another baby into our home. YIKES!
At our initial doctor’s appointment, I was given another pregnancy test to confirm that I was pregnant. I was, indeed, pregnant. My doctor proceeded to inform me of all of the things I already knew about being pregnant. What to look for, symptoms that should prompt me to call him or go to the hospital, etc. We left that appointment pumped and eager for what was to come.
About a week or so after my appointment, I woke up in a pool of blood. Nervous, I quickly took off my soiled clothes, woke my husband up to tell him of what had happened, and hoped that the bleeding would stop. I didn’t go to the hospital right away because I figured that the bleeding was normal and that it would stop. Well, as the day went on, the bleeding only slowed down. It never stopped. That evening, my husband, our son, and I took the trip to the hospital.
We stayed at the hospital for HOURS only to be told that everything was fine. I knew something wasn’t right. The next day, I called my doctor to let him know what was happening, and he told me to come to see him the next day. My doctor wasn’t available, but I was able to see his nurse practitioner. She informed me that I had a Subchorionic Hematoma (an accumulation of blood between the uterine lining and the chorion). I was given an ultrasound and sent home with some advice of taking it easy.
The next week, I was back to see my doctor, and he had some rather shocking news. Twins! He saw twins when he reviewed my ultrasound. I was completely shocked. When the doctor told me that I had two babies growing inside of me, I was excited, yet scared at the same time. I immediately thought to myself:
“How in the world are we going to juggle a toddler and two newborns at the same time???”
All of that excitement and nervousness about having twins was cut short. At my next doctor’s appointment, I was given some terrible news. One of the babies didn’t make it. I was crushed. Not only did I lose a potential child, but I was dealing with a Subchorionic Hematoma. At that point, I was too emotionally drained from dealing with everything that was going on with the pregnancy.
My OB-GYN explained to me that I had Vanishing Twin Syndrome. According to Google, “Vanishing Twin Syndrome is the spontaneous loss, miscarriage, of one developing baby early in a (twin) pregnancy.”
I can remember me bleeding for a little while after finding out one of my babies didn’t make it. I can also remember crying myself to sleep for a while. For a long time, I thought it was my fault that one of the babies didn’t make it.
Was I stressing too much?
Was I eating too much? Too little?
Many questions swept through my mind for months.
Although that happened to me, I am incredibly thankful for the baby that did make it. She was born a bit early and smaller than expected, but she is growing more and more each day.
Do I still think about what it would be like if the other baby would’ve made it? Yes, I do! I try not to dwell on the issue so much because it causes too much emotional pain. I made it through that loss to the best of my abilities. I’m also thankful for all of the support during the process.
Have you or anyone you know suffered from Vanishing Twin Syndrome? I want you to know that you’re not alone. If you need someone to talk to, I am here!