What did I do?!
When my husband and I found out I was pregnant with our second child, excitement and nervousness filled the room. The very next day, I called my doctor to inform him of the news. I was told to come in to see him in about three weeks so that he can confirm the pregnancy. I figured that since my first pregnancy was a breeze, this one was going to be also.
At the appointment, I took a pregnancy test to confirm that I was, indeed, pregnant. I was told all of the things that I should and should not do during pregnancy and what symptoms to look out for that would mean me having to visit the hospital. Mind you, I’ve been through this before; so, I wasn’t worried.
Not even a week later, I woke up in a pool of blood. Y’all, I was scared!
“What did I do?!”
“Is my baby alright?!”
Doubt and worry flooded my mind. I was prepared to hear devastating news. I waited until later on that day to visit the emergency room. By the end of that visit, we were told that everything was fine (I knew they were going to say that).
I made another appointment to see my doctor. At that appointment, I was informed that I was pregnant with twins. TWINS! I almost fainted when I heard that. My doctor told me to come back the following week for an ultrasound.
During that appointment, I was faced with some devastating news. One of the twins didn’t make it. At first, it didn’t register to me what the doctor was saying. It almost sounded as if he was speaking another language. When what he was saying to me began to make sense, my heart sank.
Crushed, I held in my tears until I couldn’t keep them in any longer. I asked God why? Was I working out too much? Stressing? Eating the wrong food? Emotionally, I was drained. Why did this happen? What did I do? I was distraught. The little bit of fight I had in me was gone.
To read my full story on this situation, click this link!
It took me a little while to pick myself back up and focus on the remainder of my pregnancy. I was blessed to give birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. All thanks to prayer, perseverance, and the help of loved ones.
The loss of one of my babies caused me to spiral down the path of depression. I blamed myself, and God, for quite sometime after that moment. I knew that I couldn’t stay in the state of depression because I didn’t want to harm the baby that remained. I asked God for forgiveness for my lack of faith and trust in Him. I also asked God to help me through my situation. I managed to come out of it stronger and a little wiser. Our baby girl was born a few weeks early, but she was and still is, as healthy as can be. Thank God!
You can’t back down. You have to keep the faith!
I’ll admit that when faced with difficulties, I buckle under pressure. I fall into a slump and allow what life throws at me bring me down. Are you the same way? Faltering in times of trouble only makes the situation worse. The last thing you want to do is allow the enemy to win. You have to stand up and fight! You have to exercise your faith and conquer whatever challenge is in your way. Jesus is with you, always.
What are you going through that’s challenging? Whatever that challenge may be, I want you to know that you can and will get through it. I know you may want to throw in the towel, curl up in a ball, and take all of the blows that your circumstance is giving, but don’t! Stand tall, have your prayers and pieces of scripture handy, and press through that challenge.
Bible verses to study:
- Psalm 46:1
- Romans 12:12
- James 1:2-4
- Romans 5:3-5