When I found out I was pregnant with our second child, excitement filled my body. The news of another little one coming into this world is a blessing. I figured everything would go smoothly, as did my first pregnancy. Well, I was in for a huge surprise.
A few weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I woke up in a pool of blood. Worry flooded my mind. I began to question what I had done wrong. “Did I lose the baby?” I thought to myself as I tried not to have a panic attack. Hours of waiting in the emergency room resulted in the doctor saying that I was “fine” and that “bleeding is normal during the beginning of pregnancy.” I knew something wasn’t quite right.
I went to see my OBGYN and found out that I was pregnant with twins.
I never in a million years thought I would be pregnant with twins. The thrill around me being pregnant with two babies didn’t last long. A couple of weeks later, after another ultrasound, one of the babies didn’t make it.
I was crushed.
I kept a brave face for the remainder of the visit, but I broke down as soon as I got to the car. I questioned what I did to make this happen. I asked God why. Why was this happening to me?
It took me a while to stop blaming myself. I was thankful to have given birth to a healthy baby girl. She was born a few weeks early due to issues with her weight, but she is healthy.
In that initial moment of finding out one of my babies didn’t make it, I’ll be honest and say that calling on God for answers was the last thing on my mind. It took a long drive home for me to pray that God would help me through this time of confusion and sadness. It took some time to come to terms with what happened, but overall, I’m thankful.
There will be times in our lives that we will experience loss, turmoil, breakups, and many other situations that will cause us to question ourselves and God. It’s in those times when our faith should go into overdrive.
God Hears You!
What have you faced, or currently facing, that’s causing pain and heartache in your life? There are a couple things I would like for you to do:
1. Go to God about it!
Tell him how you feel. Be honest, and don’t hold back. Let God know what the situation is and how it’s affecting you. He already knows what you’re going through! All He wants is for you to come to Him with the confidence of knowing that He is listening and that He will comfort and help you.
2. Meditate on these Bible verses!
- Proverbs 27:1 – “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”
- Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
- Proverbs 16:9 – “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
- Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
You May Not Understand It Now, But You Will Later.
When we face hardships, the first question that rolls out of our mouths is, “Why?” Another would be, “What did I do to deserve this?” Along this walk with Christ, I’m slowly, very slowly, learning that it’s okay to ask those questions, but the one thing that we should focus on is how we can exercise our faith through whatever we’re going through.
You are a fighter! I want you to fight through whatever you’re facing today. Keep the faith, and know that God is there with you through it all. Trust God’s timing!